We love food and how it brings us together, but in some cases there can be a darker side and the relationship with food can become destructive for many people. This week marks the beginning of Eating Disorders Awareness Week and because we believe food helps nourish growth, we are creating important dialogue around this topic.
In this episode, Corinne Croce, DPT and co-owner of Body Evolved in NYC, shares her personal story with an eating disorder and how she healed. She offers her perspective on the underlying emotional components that manifest in eating disorders and thoughful advice on how we can help support recovery. Join us for this honest and vulnerable discussion that illuminates this very challenging struggle and what it means to be healthy.
Visit the National Eating Disorders Association for more information about Eating Disorders Awareness Week and resources.
Listen to the Feed Your Fire podcast episode on Apple and Spotify.
Episode Transcript:
Feed your Fire, a podcast from Kim Baker Studios that dives into self-discovery and personal fulfillment through the shared experience of food.
I'm here today with Corinne, my sister, who you met in episode one. She's joining us because, 1) we value this thread of connectivity and clearly Corinne holds a very special place in my heart. And 2) she has a story to share, one that I think is really important for people to understand.
This week marks the beginning of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and Corinne does have a personal experience that it really kind of illuminates the underlying components of that. And since this episode and this podcast in general, is focused on growth through food, it's important to recognize that sometimes food can take on a darker side in our lives. It can become not just uncomfortable, but in some cases, toxic or destructive. And so it's important to kind of shine a light on this side of things, because it really affects so many people, and it's not a very well understood condition.
Corinne, maybe you can give just a brief introduction on yourself and your background, and then we can dive into things.
Corinne: Hi, I'm Corinne Croce, I'm super excited to be here to discuss such an important topic. I'm a Doctor of Physical Therapy in New York City. I co-own a physical therapy and boutique fitness space called Body Evolved with my best friend and business partner, Darius. We focus on injury prevention, injury healing, movement, wellness and everything that falls under that umbrella, but we really take a longevity and smarter, not harder, approach, which is really important for my own personal story.
Kim: I love Body Evolved. I really appreciated the session that I did with Darius when my back was hurting. We did it virtually, and it was really eye opening. They actually just got this cold plunge too, which looks pretty fabulous.
Well, I'm interested today Corinne and talking a little bit about your definition of healthy. Everybody's definition of healthy is different. And you know, obviously I make healthy snack food, and so I have my own definition.
A lot of times snack foods on the market are oriented towards a diet, paleo, keto, you know, it's vegan, it's free from it's something very specific that's diet focused. And I really think that we need to kind of challenge our definitions of healthy and think about it a little bit more broadly, in terms of what it's doing to our body and what the focus of this is doing into our minds.
Corinne: Definitely, I think it's such an important topic, especially when it comes to whether you want to redefine or just discuss what is healthy, because I think we as a society have this grand view of what is healthy, and it usually is involves eliminating things. That's kind of the common approach in life — less of this, less of that, less sugar, less fat, and then more exercise, more output.
And I think that can get really tricky for a lot of people. And I know for myself, I started off my journey thinking I was being healthy. But for me, it didn't stay that way. It got very obsessive. It got consumed my life, and eliminating everything that “unhealthy” became what was unhealthy.
And I think your approach with your product, and also the way you have food in your own life, is really healthy, because I think we need foods that nourish us. We need foods that are tasty and good for us, but I also think we need to be careful not to over label that food should only be healthy and some things can just be fun.
Kim: I do understand the tension there. I mean, there was a time in my life when I was young where my habits were disordered and, as you know, this is something as a family that's been pretty widespread in our lives, and so I'm interested in you sharing a little bit about your story and how you got on this path and how you got through it.
Corinne: I set out to get in better shape, physically. I knew what worked for me and I knew how I could stay a certain size. And that meant not allowing anything else in, whether it was for joy, whether it was for social events. There came a time where I stopped wanting to do things because I wouldn't have control, and that is fear. I would feel that fear like I can't go to this restaurant because I won't know what I'm going to eat. And it was control. I was trying to control my life in a way that I didn't even realize felt out of control. I didn't realize it until I worked on other things [in my life], and that simultaneously I was healing my eating disorder.
I personally struggled in a few areas of my personal life. For example, dating was very hard for me. I showed up in ways that I think were at the root of the same reason as the eating disorder. Feeling unworthy, feeling like I need validation, pleasing people, wanting to get recognized, to be special, and I was at I was fearful to not be a certain way.
When I felt safe – that it was a “safe topic” to get therapy for, I realized that those reasons were the same reasons I had an eating disorder, and they came out in other areas of my life.
And so what was really helpful for me, and now in hindsight, I think is a good thing for other people to think about—is that I never addressed the food part. That might not be right for everybody, because some people do and might need to get to a medically safe place by working on their eating disorder specifically. But I think when it comes to healing the root cause, it was addressing the core reasons of why I'm showing up in life with an eating disorder, with a struggle in dating, with the need to shop a lot—they all kind of had the same core reason of what I was searching for, seeking, scared of, and that's how I actually healed it, because I never focused on the food.
Kim: I'm really proud of you, Corinne. I mean number one for the work that you did internally to get a hold of this situation, to improve your life, to get on a path of genuine health, but also for talking about it today, because there is this kind of cloak of shame around eating disorders. People don't like to admit that they have one, that they've had one. There's this sort of stigma around it. And so I really applaud you for using your voice to share this experience so that other people can feel empowered to do the same.
And I think what you shared about the underlying issues is a really, really important thing for us to talk about. Because what a lot of people don't understand that in most cases, eating disorders are not about food. I know that's kind of counterintuitive, right? It's an eating disorder. Clearly, it's about food, but it really isn't. It is a behavioral health issue. It is one in which food is being used as a tool or an emotional need is essentially manifesting itself through our relationship with food, and the key is to really understand what's driving that.
Corinne: Without a doubt, you have to get really honest, I think, with where you're struggling in life. Because we all struggle with certain things and when we seek support, whether it's therapy, or it's other ways to get help, we can learn that a lot of the things we struggle with are being shown to us in lots of ways. And for me, an eating disorder was one way. For a lot of us, it's a symptom of something else.
And then in our society, and I think even in the medical world, we treat eating disorders from a food standpoint. And I'm obviously not an MD to comment on the approach of it, but from a personal experience, I don't think I ever would have healed if we I addressed it from a food standpoint. I think I had to address it from an emotional standpoint. And I think most people have an emotional cause for their eating disorder.
Kim: I remember as a kid, because eating disorders were pretty rampant in our family, going to the center one time, and our family interacting with this group of psychologists who actually observed us from behind this one way mirror. It was kind of dramatic, and something we still talk about today—going behind the one way mirror. But it was essentially a way for them to understand how we were interacting, what our foundation was, where there might be some cracks. And we're fortunate, because we grew up in a wonderful home, and so, you know, there is kind of a never quite answered question of why that is. I mean, some people believe there's some research that says that there's a genetic link, but, you know, it's also modeled. Our behavior is something that we pick up on from the people around us, and so it's kind of a contagious thing.
Corinne: I think in a household, there's no ill intent behind this, but people comment all the time. “I feel gross.” “I ate bad.” “That's too fattening.” And I think these are learned behaviors by our friends, by our family. And I think if we can work on that ourselves, it's a cycle that will help the people around us, whether they are struggling or we prevent them from struggling,
Kim: Watching somebody struggle with an eating disorder is really difficult, and you feel really, really helpless. You love that person and you want them to be well and to know that they're beautiful and to know that they have everything that they need inside of them, but they just can't see it. And so I'm interested in your thoughts about how we can be supportive to people that are dealing with an eating disorder that actually is a productive and constructive way of being a force in their lives as they go through this experience.
Corinne: One, showing up with no judgment. Eating disorders, like a lot of unhealthy habits we have in our life, have so much shame around, it's so embarrassing for some reason. Coming at it with without judgment, which sounds easier than it is to do was really important. Because even at the time, I might have not said I was struggling, I felt safe that when the time came, I would be able to share my story in a way that wouldn't make me feel worse.
I think people are really scared to say they're struggling in this area, because the reaction of somebody. I see this all the time, and there's no judgment on anybody for doing this, but we comment on the person's food, “you're not going to eat that?” “You're not eating enough.” “You look too skinny.” And I think when we focus on food and body image of somebody who's struggling, it's like, it's the worst thing you can do. It's almost like, ignore the person's food and show up for them in a way that's supportive for them as a person in their whole life, in all the areas.
Also being relatable about the things we struggle with. I have found in my line of work where I share my story, as humans we're just looking for connection and relatability. You don't have to have an eating disorder to kind of share that you don't have it all together. And I think that was helpful for me, for friends family, who let me know that they were struggling in other areas too.
And also, model it yourself. Not just, “oh, don't have an eating disorder.” I catch myself all the time now, and I don't think this has to do with my history; I think it has to do with society and just the way we learn things is to comment on people's image, “you look so good.” “Oh, you lost weight.” “That outfit makes your body looks awesome.” And I think we don't we do this so consciously, but let’s not make that the thing I'm making the person feel worthiness from.
Kim: Thank you, my sweet sister, for sharing your story and being so vulnerable today. I think that you're able to really help a lot of people with your honesty and openness, and I really am so proud of you, and I love you.
For anyone listening, this is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I encourage you to check out the National Eating Disorders Association website if you are looking for more information or resources. We are with you, and we feel you, and we hope that this offered some level of illumination and comfort and just a bit of togetherness on a really important topic.
Thanks for joining our podcast.
Feed Your Fire, where food nourishes growth.