Why is it so hard to let things go? In this epispode we explore why we hold onto things and the freedom that comes when we find a way to move on. Join us as we float our way into summer, without carrying the weight of our struggles with us.
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Episode Transcript:
Hello and welcome to Feed Your Fire. I'm Kim Baker, founder of Kim Baker Foods. We are unofficially at the start of summer, and I couldn't be happier about it. This time of year is like a sigh of relief with a warm breeze, inviting a big exhale and a menu that beckons us outdoors. So come with us as we float our way into this season.
It is so beautiful outside today that we had to bring our studio outdoors. Those birds chirping are not sound effects. This weather brings me genuine serenity. You know the feeling when you're floating in a pool on one of those giant six foot unicorn floaties? Yeah, that's our inspiration for today's episode.
Whatever your struggle or concern, even if only for a few minutes, we want to put you in a place where you can just let it all go. A restorative yoga class with zero physical exertion. Learning how to let go is a fundamental skill that affects our quality of life. When we let things go, not only do we create space for new opportunities, but we give ourselves emotional freedom.
One of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou is when she explains that love liberates, it doesn't bind. And when we give ourselves the emotional freedom by letting go of things, it's an act of self love.
When I was in college, my sister Danielle and I would go on these vacations, and sometimes at the end of the night, there would somehow be this Freedom dance off contest. It was quite a scene, and I could imagine that through sober eyes, it might have looked ridiculous, but ever since then, Freedom from George Michael is one of my all time, favorite songs. Little did I know at the time that it would be so relevant to this podcast and the idea of letting go.
Why is it so difficult for us to let go of things? I believe this is one of those situations that's best examined from the inverse. We need to reframe the question, what is it that we're holding on to? Sometimes we hold on to fantasies, to our expectations or ideas about how something could or should have gone. And while I very much believe that we are the architects of our own life, that power begins and ends right there—with ourselves. Try as we might, we can't change another person's decisions or behaviors.
Other times, we're holding on to these memories of things that happened like receipts. They are the proof of our pain or perhaps a wrongdoing, and it could feel like letting go of those receipts invalidates the experience. If you looked at the bottom of my purse, you would see what holding on to these old receipts visually looks like, and the mess that it creates.
Sometimes our identities can become so intertwined with our suffering, we can conflate our experiences with who we are. We may be afraid to let go of a storyline, because it'll mean that maybe we're abandoning a part of ourselves.
Fifteen years ago, on Memorial Day weekend, I began Act Two of my life. Act One was growing up. It was easy, and at least to me at the time—it felt idyllic. It was safe. Act Two was very different. It's where the drama began. I became a mother. I left my marriage, my brother died, everything just kind of unraveled. And there are things from that period of time that were really hard to let go of. I would often go to the river and sit on this outlook and visualize releasing what I was carrying into that water, asking the current to take it with it. I made that river my own personal compost pile, offering it my trash and asking it to transform it through an organic process. But healing is a much more active process than that would suggest, and there have been things that I've still carried, not necessarily even knowing it.
It's like when you try on an old jacket and you find random tissues and chapstick in the pocket. I would much prefer to find a $20 bill. But I think parts of what remained were actually pieces of a story that I didn't really want to let go. I certainly didn't want to forget them, and I didn't know how to do one without the other. The memory was protective, and it kept the memory of other things alive.
Just this past weekend, I went to the river with my dog. We were at that same place that calls me to it over and over. By the rush of that water with the breeze and the sunshine, I feel kind of enveloped. And this time, for the first time ever, I saw this whole group of turtles hanging out on a rock—a bale of turtles sunning themselves, swimming, laying intertwined on one another. They were on their six-foot floaty.
When I left the river, I had this swell of emotion. I saw my brother smiling in my parents kitchen, holding my son—the last time I would see him healthy. I could imagine calling my mother and telling her I was coming home, and that it would be just me and my son for a while. I could see my parents faces—each win, each loss, each victory, each moment of suffering. And this flood of emotion passed nearly as quick as it came. And it was then that I realized I was in Act Three. I was now one of those turtles on my floaty in a new place of freedom, unencumbered by the past. And I welcome you to join me on this adventure.
What Act are you in in your life? How many acts does your play have? When we think of our lives as these stages in a single story, it creates a partition. It provides a container. I'm able to let things go because I have a place to put them. And you too can find a way to store your past experiences without having them weigh you down, placing them lovingly in their rightful container.
We want to see you riding along in your unicorn, floating perhaps with a drink in hand. To inspire that spirit today, we're not going to be cooking. Instead, we're going to be making a beverage. We're making ice cream floats, boozy option available at no extra charge.
Ice Cream floats require only two ingredients—ice cream and a carbonated beverage. You can spike the drink by either making that carbonated beverage an alcoholic one or adding a splash of liquor. Now this exercise is really more about flavor profiles and combinations than any type of measurements or techniques.
There are some basic principles when you're making an ice cream float, ice cream goes in the glass first, and then you'll pour the carbonated beverage along the side of the glass slowly.
This ice cream float was inspired by this fabulous drink called Something In the Orange. There's this coffee shop in Richmond called Fuel Pump that makes these alcoholic coffee beverages. And so I thought maybe I could bring in the essence of that drink into this dessert.
The first thing we're going to do is freeze a glass. Once that glass is nice and cold, take it out of the freezer and add in two to three scoops of vanilla ice cream. Then we're going to add in a shot of cooled espresso. If you want to make it boozy, I would use coffee ice cream and add a splash of vodka. You want most of your liquid to be carbonated.
Then we're going to add a combination of orange flavored Seltzer and vanilla cream soda. You want that soda to be cold. Pour the soda into the drink along the side of the glass like you're pouring from a keg, and watch the magic happen. The drink will fizz up and the ice cream will rise to the top, which is what we want for you.
For a touch more decadence, add a splash of cream. Now, grab that drink and get outside. Hear the birds chirp, put your feet in the sand or go walk along the river. Let the warmth of the season allow you to connect with an environment that's broader than the one in your mind.
Are you ready for your next act?
It's an open invitation. So come anytime. We'll be over here basking in the sun like those turtles with a drink in hand, anytime you're ready to join us. Until our next episode, I say so long.
Feed Your Fire, where food nourishes growth.