In this Feed Your Fire podcast episode, we’ll talk about what it means to be seen and understood as we put aside pretense and reel in something big - all over a delicious meal that’s a breeze. Join us for a swim as we explore life from the open waters channeling our inner Neptune Warrior Goddess.
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Episode Transcript:
Hello, and welcome to Feed Your Fire. I'm Kim Baker, founder of Kim Baker Foods. Care to join us for a swim? The water is a little cold and choppy, but the weather is beautiful. We're going fishing today, but we're gonna catch something more than just our meal. So come with us as we get inspired from the open waters and create a safe swim lane for you to just be yourself.
I really don't know anything about fishing, but every year, I take my son out on this boat with the same captain. And this tan man with this long blonde hair reminds us to reel it in smooth and sexy. And I love that idea. But the process of reeling in a fish is really hard work. And it's not always as elegant as you might set out for it to be. Last year, I had my rod in the water, and I f-
I felt this tug, and it turns out, it was this big shark that I was reeling in. The kids were going nuts. I was using every part of my body to hold onto this rod.
I was sweating my ass off. It felt like it took two days to reel in. There was nothing smooth or sexy about it, except for the fact that I ultimately got that shark out of the water and into the boat. It was a triumph, one of complete authenticity. There was no facade. There was no playing games.
I was a hot mess, and I loved every minute about it. I was like a Neptune Warrior Goddess, owning every minute of that reel. And we were all squealing with delight in the end.
And that, my friends, is the feeling that I want for each of you, for you to own your struggles, for you to feel that win, that triumph, that victory, and to bathe yourself in the pride of what you've accomplished, like it's the sun on your skin and the wind in your hair, and to have the people on that boat cheer for you, making that victory that much sweeter. Now, in today's episode, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we are not going to be preparing Shark. And instead, we'll take it a rung down the food chain to prepare a delicious fish dinner that won't leave you with a sweat.
Metaphorically, fish have a really big piece of my heart. My sisters and I always sort of say that we swim fin-to-fin, the way fish in a school will kind of group together. Not too long ago, we were watching some old home movies, totally from the 80s. I was swimming in an above ground pool in a backyard at this house that I grew up in. My father's on a raft taking in the sun, and I'm splashing around, shouting, I'm a fish! I'm a fish!
And though I have no memory of this event as a child, as an adult watching it, I could see the young version of myself just wanting to be seen. And that form of self-expression can either be viewed as a disruption, or it can be seen as a way of communicating. And while being seen is important, what's even more important is being understood, not just for our own personal experiences, but for the health of our relationships.
There's an article in Psychology Today that talks about how being understood may be more important than even feeling loved. That's pretty huge. And that's because it ties into the “core of our humanity, of being known, of our sense of belonging, of our sense of acceptance.
And if we don't feel those things, our connections with one another unravel. We're craving for the people in our lives to say, yes, I totally see where you're coming from, or I feel the same way, even if it's hinged with a but and some feedback. This happens in our interpersonal relationships, and it's also what's happening in the world around us, in society.
People are caught up in who's right and wrong, rather than trying to create understanding. We're going to break that cycle right here. And in honor of that little girl in the pool that went unnoticed, we're going to prepare an absolutely delicious meal together that hopefully will become part of your regular repertoire.
We're going to use fluke, which is a type of flounder, but you can use any white fish. The first thing we're going to do is preheat our oven to 425 degrees. Then take some olive oil and drizzle it in a baking sheet. I'm going to use this Pyrex baking pan that I have, that fits the fish kind of perfectly. I'm going to pat the fish dry and then put it in that baking dish. Sprinkle it generously with salt and pepper, and then finely chop up some garlic and put it on top.
I usually use about two to three cloves of garlic. Then I take some panko breadcrumbs and sprinkle them on top of the fish to give it some texture. Then drizzle some fresh lemon juice on top, and I usually put the squeezed rinds right in the pan so that any leftover juices kind of cook and bake with the fish.
Then just drizzle a little olive oil on top and add a splash of broth or water to the bottom of the pan, just so that there's a little moisture. Then I slice up some lemon rounds and I put them on top of the fish kind of decoratively. We're gonna bake the fish for about 10 minutes.
Flounder's pretty thin. It does not need to cook a really long time. And right before it's cooked through, I like to turn the oven on to broil and let the top crisp up and brown. Then I want you to remove the fish from the oven and we're gonna sprinkle on some rinsed capers and a whole bunch of chopped parsley. And that is as simple as it gets. This dish is a spin on an oregano recipe that we used to have a lot growing up.
And it reminds me of this crazy restaurant that I used to work in. Many stories from that work experience would be perfect for this podcast at some point. It was like a chapter out of Kitchen Confidential.
But one of the things that I remember about that work experience was the family meal. We would often have this flounder that was just fantastic. And when we were cleaning out my parents' house after they had passed away, I found this painting that a customer from the restaurant had made of me. It was such an unexpected gift. He was a friend of one of the owners, and he would sit at the bar painting. And one day he shared this portrait that he had been making of me.
And I had forgotten about it completely. And then 15 years later, I found it at my parents' house. And as I reflect on that whole experience today, what I'm “struck by is that this stranger at the bar saw me for whatever the reason.
Out of all of the people there, he looked at me and he took the time and care of each paint stroke to create my face on a canvas. A way of expressing a knowing and connection that was really quite personal. And I had no idea that that's what he was painting all along.
And then to find this man's vision of me at my parents' house decades later was kind of an ironic twist to that story that little girl had where she was a fish not being seen. And as a parent, I can totally relate to just being fried and needing a moment to yourself. And so as I try to put myself in the shoes of that little girl, I need to also put myself in the shoes of my father.
And I need to see both of them for complete understanding. So if you find yourself at a time in your life where you're splashing around, clumsily trying to communicate what you need, know from this podcast that strangers too can see you. We might only have a glimpse of who you are, but we care enough to have the curiosity.
To understand you. And as you encounter people along the way, that aren't capable of seeing or understanding you, don't let that stop you from being exactly who you are. The process won't always be smooth and sexy. Sometimes you'll just be a hot mess, Neptune Warrior Goddess, doing something you've never done before. Until our next episode, I say so long.
Feed Your Fire, where food nourishes growth.